HE KILLED MY MUM (July 2001)

 
 Saranda left the main noisy road and swung into Lilly Street where the trees provided patches of shade along the way. All the same, the afternoon sun was blisteringly hot and she sweltered in her long jumper. Now she could see the weedy block of land in front, desolate and empty. Where was Jack? He promised to be here today. And Kathy? What if she will never meet her again, what if she will never return her golden sun? Suddenly she felt very weak. Half way down Saranda paused under the big eucalyptus tree and wiped her forehead.

    "What's up, Saranda?" Kathy asked sitting in its shade with Lucky by her side.

    "I hate your winter," Saranda flopped exhausted next to her: "Cold mornings and hot afternoons." Jack's blond head appeared from behind the tree trunk. They looked rested and in a happy mood, although dressed only in some T-shirts and baggy jeans.

    Kathy muffled Lucky's fur dreamily: "Soon we have to move to Uncle Toby's verandah for the nights, it's too cold to sleep on the streets."

    "Too bloody noisy for me," Jack scratched his dirty hair.

    "You can freeze here," Kathy snapped at him: "Or p.... off back home."

Then they tossed a coin for their turn. Jack won and Kathy went to find a 'ten-ounce sandwich' for them. Saranda followed Jack and Lucky heading of to the beach.

    "What about going home?" She caught up with him: "To see George and your room, you know it's the same like you have left it...your medals and everything."

But Jack ignored her and moved on.

    "There is a crab." He suddenly stopped and lifted one of the rocks on the shore. Lucky sniffed underneath.

    "Will he bite me?" Saranda leaned forward with an outstretched hand, but hesitated for a second, afraid.

    "If you give him a chance." Aware of danger, the crab shot across the stones to the sea. Jack sat down with his arms round his legs and his chin resting on his knees staring at some surfers in thermo-suits having fun in the ocean: "What a dumper!" He suddenly pointed at the big wave that broke suddenly hurling the surfers down with great force: "Dad's always told me that I would become a champion surfer one day."

   "Do you miss him?"

Jack had a faraway look on his face: "How do you know his name and my medals?"

Saranda described her first meeting with George and her embarrassing exploring of George's house. She has also mentioned the trip to York on a long weekend. Jack listened carefully without any interruption, when he suddenly blurted out: "He killed my Mum, George, he's a bloody killer..." He shouted and put his head into his hands.

So close and yet so far apart...

   


When the school finished, Saranda saw the familiar car waiting outside her school.

    "Mrs Hysa," she screamed in panic and sat inside the car thinking something is wrong.

    "There you are," Mrs Hysa looked at her closely: "Nothing is wrong, only your Mum wants me to talk to .."

    "I have to pick up Dardon from the Upper Primary," Saranda quickly said.

    "Yes, I know, let's go," Mrs Hysa started the car and continued: "I would like you to be more considerated of your Mum's condition and also understand that you Dad is now extremely busy with his school's religious position, you have to be more helpful..."

    "More helpful!" Saranda shouted in dismay: "I have to help with all domestic chores, cooking and also Dardon with his homework, every day, while Dardon is playing soccer and enjoying himself..."

    "Everyone has different place and responsibilities in one's family," Mrs Hysa smiled at her gently: "And what about your mysterious disappearances from home?"

    "Everyone has right to breathe and find out about life, it's not fair that Dad pushing me to live up to his recent religious ideal, it's not me, I was not brought up that way!"

    "It's the religion of our forbearers, of your Grandmother," Mrs Hysa sighed, "My family left Kosove before the Communists shut all the Mosques and I grew up here, where you can take it easy and forget where you come from." Mrs Hysa turned to Saranda and then quickly checked the lights at the crossroads: "Is this Dardon's Muslim school?"

    "Yep, just turn left after the intersection," Saranda pointed her hand on the left and continued: "I know all of that, Mrs Hysa, I only feel that Mum and Dad are not like they used to be, I wish sometimes to be back in Kosove and be little again, my Mum she is so..."

    "Your Mum is really worried, that something awful may happen to you and she promised to God to tell Dad if you once more leave the house without telling her where you go," Mrs Hysa shook her head in disagreement: "Dardon mentioned a friend of yours, a homeless kid?"

    "Fine." Saranda clenched her teeth and looked out of the window thinking about her little dobbing brother.

    "Look, I can see Dardon," Mrs Hysa stopped the car and waived to the boy, then she turned to Saranda: "Try to understand, Saranda, your family clings to Islam, because there is only thing they got left," Mrs Hysa pulled at her scarf: "Your origin, your religion makes you who you are...oh, hi Dardon, how was school today?" She smiled when Dardon entered the car.

   "Gross, what's happening?" Dardon looked at Mrs Hysa hoping she takes them to some exciting place and he missed Saranda's hateful glare.

    "I'm only dropping you off home today, my little girl finishes her dancing lesson soon...but," Mrs Hysa winked at him: "Do you remember what George, your swimming instructor promised about visiting his parents in York and spending weekend there?"

    "Yeep, but that was a few monts ago."

    "So he finally asked me to arrange this long weekend's trip with your parents, unfortunatelly you Mum feels too sick, and there is Victor...your Father is too busy..."

    "But, I want to go," Dardon exclaimed.

    "Who cares, what you want," Saranda said sharply.

    "Saranda," Mrs Hysa sighed impatiently: "Your parents gave me permission to take you ont the trip, both of you of course."

Saranda nodded and looked out of the window. She thought about George missing his boy terribly and Jack, his boy, roaming streets aimlessly and sleeping rough under the bridge just few yards from his Father's flat. She imagined George looking out of the window on the dark bridge in disapearing light never realizing how close to home his son actually is. They are so close and so far apart.

DOHA

    Saranda closely watched the girl sitting next to her. She was also new, in this country, in this Islamic College. Doha was her name. She was quiet and shy always hiding behind her white scarf. Sharp featured and dark-haired, Doha was aware of her fragile features and tine figure and liked to keep to herself, hiding behind other girls in their study group. Although it was well accepted in their College that girls didn't voice thier opinios only if asked, Doha avoided any opportunity to be noticed. In contrary Saranda had to often bite her lip not to shout her disagreement with her teachers.
She was often criticised to be too wordy and other girls whispered behind her back that her confidence had boosted ever since her father was appointed a Deputy Principal at the College. It surprised Saranda enormously to see Doha join her to accompany the studetns from the Lower Primary school nearby to the Perth Museum. Saranda saw it as oportunity to escape the dully routine of prays and learning and worndered why Doha had joined her. Before she had a chance to ask their bus stopped in front the Thornlie Lower Primary Islamic College. Two groups of boys and two groups of girls have been already lined up waiting excitedly and as soon as the door opened the boys came rushing inside. Saranda was asked by their Islamic teacher to show them their seats on the right side.

    "Hi, Saranda, we are going to the museum in Perth, imagine we will go to see a real skyscraper..." One of the boys shouted excitedly in her ear. Saranda smiled at him and pushed him on the the back seat. Suddenly she heard a giggling from the left side where the girls had been seated. Doha was seated among them and her face was unusually bright.

    "Now, let's go," another teacher, an English lady came last: "I'll hope we haven't forgotten anyone." She smiled and quickly hid the loose strand of her hair under her scarf.

She had to be new one, Saranda thought to herself, not used to wearing a scarf, like me. She felt a sudden empathy with the teacher, who was already walking through the bus pointing to the boys telling them to behave themselves. The bus moved and the boys yelled with excitement.

    "Come on everyone, look carefully in front of you, I wonder who will be the first one to spot a skyscraper?" She said in the microphone as the bus ran smoothly along the highway passing many suburbs with thousands of identical homes with shiny green lawns at the front.

    "I can see them, look." Once boy pointed through the front window where the three skyscrapers shone in the blue sky in the distance.

    "Huaaah, that's fantastic, look at the bright boats." Another boy exlaimed as they drove over the Swan River. White two story buildings lined the shore surrounded by fresh lush parks.

Soon they reached the city centre and every kid in the bus pressed an excited face to the glass to catch a glimpse of the sleepy capital city of Western Australia. The bus stopped at a huge car park and the teachers guided the children through the glassed in walkway, which ran over the quiet colonial streets and the bustling shopping alleys. The boys stopped every minute and looked through the glass under their feet at the passing cars and colourful shops.The English teacher counted her children all the time with a worried look on her face.

    "Saranda, please, watch out for these boys on the back," she said and then turned to Doha surrounded by the girls.

    "Don't worry Ms Page," Doha smiled at her confidently and stopped to be the last one pushing the giggling girls in front of her: "Come on you."

As they walked through a colonial train station, the boys begged Ms Page to come on the platform to see the city train. Ms Page soon realised the danger when some of the boys ran to the moving stairways blocking the way so people couldn't pass.

    "Come back at once!" Ms Page screamed in panic and rushed to bring them back leaving the girls with the other Islamic teacher. Saranda and Doha stood patiently nearby. They watched a group of teenagers gathering on the station, drinking, riding skateboards and laughing. Their clothes were fancy but dirty. Most of the teenagers were black, some whiter but with the same hair like Kathy. Suddenly two of them noticed them and started to skateboard in their direction. Saranda quickly moved in opposite direction to avoid them but Doha stood there watching them with a stone face. They circled around her pointing at her dress and scarf when the Islamic teacher approached them. They skated back, pulling faces and screaming something.

    "What did they say?" Doha asked the Islamic teacher when they joined back the group. Ms Kawa was standing there watching the leaving skate boys with a stern look. Saranda joined them and felt embarrassed at moving away.

    "I thought I could understand anything, I have been learning English for 8 years..."

    "Don't take notice of those unbelievers," the Islamic teacher patted her arm looking closely at her: "Our god always protects you."

    "I know that," Doha answered seriously: "He always did."

    "Now quickly to the museum and back to school, I think I've had enough for today."

They had recess near the small fountain outside the museum. Then the museum staff took them inside. Saranda couldn't concentrate very much on the long list of information and pictures about the discovery of Australia becuase the group of boys hanged on her asking millions of questions. Later on, while the whole group admired the replica of the first ship, she slipped quietly to the other room, where their teachers decided not to take them because of some explicit pictures unsuitable for children.
In the centre stood statues of a group of naked slim, dark people with kind, smiling faces. They looked like they were on a walk. The women were holding children and sticks in their hands. The men proudly held their spears and one of them was showing a lizard he had killed. She was struck with the statues. She slowly spelled the information under it: Native Australians.
They looked similar to the people in Kathy's family, this older one could be Uncle Tom, but the statues looked much happier.

   "Now we enter the old way of life of Aboirginals before the white people came. They were peaceful people who shared everything and travelled a long distance to survive in this harsh empty land. We still admire their art and special ways of dealing with people and nature..." The group of people entered the room and the deep voice of their museum curator echoed on the walls.

   "Oh, look a cave man," the couple of boys from their group had sneaked after her.

   "Come on, we have to go back," she pushed them in front of her out of the forbidden room and together they ran through the museum to find their class.

She was tired after the excursion and annoyed by the endless chatter of the children around her. Doha seemed to enjoy their company and looked more relaxed than ever. The kids touched everything excitedly in the museum shop until their teachers ushered them outside. Doha in one corner was looking at some T-shirts.

   "I wish I could buy one." Saranda stood next to her looking at one with the small painting of an Emu like from Uncle's Tom dotting picture.

    "I want to buy one for my brother, who is still in Iraq, missing, only God knows what happened to him..."
Doha sighed and looked at Saranda's choice: "Impressive, these strange paintings, but our pictures back home are more colourful and joyful."

   "I like them, they reminds me of our old legends..." Saranda touched the empty spot on her neck and reminded herself to find Kathy. Suddenly someone grabbed her hand. It was one of the lower school's boys.

   "Come on, Saranda, we are leaving, the bus is here," he pushed her long school dress impatiently: "Come on you two or you will be in trouble."

Saranda looked at Doha, who smiled at her mysteriously: "I will be there in a sec, just make some excuse for me, will you?"

KATHY - AN ABORIGINAL GIRL

Just as the first light appeared in the morning, they heard a scream.
   "That was Mum!" Saranda cried, jumping up from bed. "Something's wrong!" She ran to the door.

   "It's one of her bad dreams," Dad noticed her in the doorway of their bedroom.
He was bending over Mum, who lay stretched out on the bed talking fast: "They are all dead, the village is on the fire...heelp!"  Her eyes were closed, and she fell asleep. Before leaving Saranda checked Victor in his cot. He snored peacefully.

   "What's going on?" Dardon's figure in long pyjamas appeared in the corridor.

   "It was only a nightmare," Saranda pushed him back to his room: "Go back to sleep, today Mrs Hysa will take us to the museum."

Saranda went back to her room and sat on her bed looking around. The dawn made everything misty and unreal. Her small room with a built-in-wardrobe, a simple desk and a tiny side table was full of shades. Suddenly she remembered the place, Jack had told her about. It took her only a minute to pull on her pants, long sleeve shirt and sneakers. She picked up her scarf and thought for a while. Finally she let it drop on the bed and tiptoed out of her room.
Passing the main bedroom, she could hear Mum's quiet weeping. She hurried up to the front door. Outside a balck cat was crossing her path. It made her shiver. Saranda watched from their doorsteps as the edge of morning was beginning to break in the East. For a second or two she stood there sniffing the fresh air. She could tell that it was going to be a warm day. The front gate squeaked, so she turned back and listened. The simple white house was quiet in the dark.

When she entered the deserted station, the first train had already been there. The view from the fast train gave her a sweaping picture of the old sleepy port ahead and the dark ocean beyond it.
Saranda enjoyed being out in Fremantle alone. It made her feel part of real Australian life, and she started to wish secretly that she'd been born here. But then she touched her golden sun and felt guilty. Approaching the centre of town she felt like a ghost. The fancy apartments and colourful shops were dark and quiet as was the whole city.
Only a few joggers passed her by. Saranda left the main street and swung onto a small side street. It was all a bit vague and hazy. Slowly she passed through it and found herself near the ocean. Saranda felt a sense of gentle peace under the rising sun. She sat down on the deserted beach. Nothing could have been more peaceful that the gentle waves of the Indian Ocean under that huge wakening Australian sky.

    "Lucky, come back, Lucky!" A big dog came dashing across the sand and leaped around her legs. Saranda froze looking into his huge curious face.

    "I don't know whether she is scared or not...what do you think, Lucky?" Kathy chuckled behind Saranda's back and hugged the dog tightly.

   "He gave me the creeps." Saranda smiled and patted his huge hairy back.

   "That's the point." Jack came and scratched the dog's ear gently. "He is our new guard dog, we found him a week ago, and he was starving and lucky to meet us."

   "Let's have breakfast." Kathy flopped next to Saranda and handed everyone hamburgers, including Lucky, who finished his in one bite. "There was good deal at Mac's today, one 'buck' only, she tried to explain with her mouth full.

   "You had no money." Jack pointed out.

   "So what, I pinched it from a tray," she winked at Saranda and then burst out laughing, her curly hair danced around her round, dark face.

The breakfast was gobbled in bites between bursts of exciting talk. Saranda hadn't  felt so free and happy for a long time. She touched her neck but the golden chain was not there. She rubbed her forehead with a worried hand.

    "Where is my chain, where is it?" Saranda burst out and jumped to her feet. Then as if she regretted the outburst, her voice became calmer. "It must be somewhere here..." They watched curiously as Saranda was digging in the sand.

   "I know who this golden thing belongs to?" Kathy started to laugh holding the chain above the dog's nose.

In sudden anxiety Saranda turned and rushed at Kathy: "You are a thief, give it back," she grabbed the chain.
"It's broken, my Granny, I have broken my promise." Her voice dropped to a whisper.

They looked puzzled. Kathy sat next to Saranda and hugged her. A single sob welled up from somewhere deep down and shook Kathy's shoulders: "Sorry, don't have anything so..." A big lump rose in her throat: "So  posh, I wanted only to try..."

   "It's supposed to bring me good luck," Saranda sobbed.

   "Luck," Jack said, "only helps people who knows how to use it." He took the chain form her hand and looked at the golden sun closely.

   "The golden sun has been bringing life to the people of Kosovo for hundreds of years. When winter ends over there and spring is coming, the golden sun brings warmth, good spirit and life back to the mountain villages. It's a special sun. Magical." To her own surprise Saranda found herself telling them the old Albanian legend about the golden sun.

   "It's like one of the Kathy's Aboriginal stories," Jack said  handing her back the broken chain: "I can't fix it."

   "Come on." Kathy said abruptly pulling Jack's back. "Maybe uncle Toby can fix it, come on, Lucky, let's go home."

After they left the beach, Jack shot up another street and fetched four cream buns from a shop and they munched them siting on the pavement near the Fremantle Market. The entrance filled up with first people looking for some fresh fish and vegetables.
After a while the first families appeared, strolling by in the sunshine, stopping occasionally to chat to some friendly faces enjoying their breakfast on the cafe strip.

   "I hate these Sundays, can you imagine, me as a boy, doing the same with my Dad and Mum, when she was alive..." Jack spat on the pavement and chucked his half finished bun in a nearby bin.

   "I think I can see my cousin playing the Didgeridoo inside," Kathy jumped out and Lucky waved his tail ready to follow her. "You stay here!" Kathy pointed at him and ran inside the market.

Jack and Saranda turned around to see playing dark figure in the middle of the shopping hall surrounded by a few tourists. He was blowing into a long wooden tube making strange deep music. Some of the shoppers stopped and put some coins into his old hat.
Kathy bent next to his ear and he made some signs with his fingers without stopping to play.
Soon she was back and waved them to follow her. When they reached the bus station a group of Aboriginal women and children were sitting and chattering on the benches aside. the little ones had round cheeks and curly hair and they could never keep still. Kathy and Jack joined them but Saranda stayed aside watching them with open curiosity.

Suddenly an old yellow sedan stopped next to them. A driver, an old man in tattered T-shirt, started to shout at the group. She heard hurrying footsteps and someone grabbed her hand. They all managed to climb in and the vehicle took off with a roar. Saranda found herself squished between two jolly women, one had a restless baby who jumped on her knees. The car echoed with singing and laughter. She couldn't understand their strange English, but she didn't feel uncomfortable.
The car suddenly stopped and the women hurried out picking up their shopping bags and babies. The rented house was surrounded by ground overgrown with weeds. There were some old men sitting on the shabby verandah. Their boisterous noise and laughter knew no end.

   "Now, let's go in." Kathy said after she hugged half of the family. The inside was as crowded and noisy as the outside of the moderate house. Saranda tried to follow Kathy through the living room full of smiling children and surprisingly found Jack and Lucky playing with them happily.

   "Uncle Toby, uncle Toby," Kathy screamed as they entered the small backyard. The old, dark man was painting something on the ground.

   "Hullo, Miajna Kadi, your uncle is happy to see you." He turned around and smiled so brad that they could see his missing teeth. he held a small stick in his hand as he raised his dark arm in greeting.

    "What does it mean...let's me guess, a myall on some walkabout and there...there he found a waterbird's egg." Kathy pointed excitedly to a colourful picture full of white dots.

    "He lived a long time ago on his tribal land, before the white fellow came and started to live on this land that didn't belong to him..." the old man sat with his legs crossed, his eyes closed and started to talk in broken English.

In some way Saranda found the story similar to the tales from her homeland, which she had lost. Suddenly the kids came screaming outside chased by Jack and Lucky. realising that it was the Dreamtime story time, they sat down around Uncle Toby and stayed quiet until he finished.
Jack found a place on the doorstep. Soon a tall boy about his age joined in with a didgeridoo: "Come on, Tajurra, you haven't practised it for a long time," he handed the instrument laughingly to Jack.

Jack tried to blow it and managed a couple of deep sounds. When the boy started to play, a powerful and strange music filled the whole area. The children started to move with the rhythm of the music pretending to be an Emu picking some seeds and a hopping Kangaroo. Saranda kept sitting next to Uncle Toby, who was starring now curiously at her jeans. She smiled shyly and noticed that a piece of her long-forgotten scarf popped out from her pocket. He gestured to her to give it to him.

    "Interesting," he exclaimed studying closely the details of the Islamic design on the scarf: "Made in Pakistan, hmm," Uncle Toby looked at her again with a broad smile: "I think, I will take it."

    "Fine," Saranda shook her head in disbelief, what in earth he could see on this piece of head cover, "I have plenty of them at home."

    "Tajurra, Miajna Kadi and your friend, if you need a lift, I'm leaving now," someone yelled next to the outside door. Kathy jumped and took the golden chain from Saranda's hand.

    "Oh, Uncle Toby I need you to fix this, I'll come back to pick it up later, thanks." She put the chain in front of him. He put it in his pocket and continued to paint.

    "Let's go." She pulled a surprised Saranda and they ran until they saw the moving car and Jack trying to jump in.

   "Wait, waait for us." Kathy waved and soon they squished into the crowded car. saranda was sweating and the heat outside reminded her that it was almost lunchtime.

   "Thornlie, could you please tell the driver to take me there," she shouted in Kathy's ear over the noise.

Soon she saw familiar train station and one of the streets close to her house: "Hey, stop here." Saranda shouted from the back and turned to Kathy: "My house is on the next street, thanks for the trip and..."

    "See you next time 'somewhere in the great outdoors', " Kathy winked at her as she jumped from the  moving car. Saranda waved until the Aboriginal singing and laughing disappeared with the car and she suddenly felt very lonely.

She entered their front yard. There was no one there. The clinking of the cutlery inside reminded her of lunch and their prayer time. Saranda entered the house in a sudden panic and ran through the corridor as fast as she could. At the end she bumped into Mrs hysa, who was holding Victor in her arm: "Where've you been, you're lucky your Dad huried to Morque early morning and didn't find out..."

   "Saranda, we were supposed to go to the museum and because of YOU..." Dardon peeped out of his room at her but Mrs Hysa patted his hair: "It's OK, Dardon, we can go next time, anyway, your Mum doesn't feel very well," she looked back at Saranda: "You better go and help you Mum with lunch, you Dad will be here any minute."

WELCOME TO DARK AND SHADOWLESS WORLD

   The sky was dull and grey with black and purple tingles. Saranda felt along their low spiky fence with her hand till she found the gate. The front litghts from Mrs Hysa's car outlined the path to their house. They had moved
one week ago to Thornlie, closer to Perth and the Muslim College, where Dad was teaching. They were part of
Muslim community now, but Saranda still missed Mrs Hysa's house on the outskirt of Fremantle.

    "Saranda," Mrs Hysa's whisper was uncertain in the darkness of the car. Saranda craned around, trying to see
her. Suddenly Dardon got out off the car. He almost fell over her. It was still pitch black. The moon had not yet risen. "Watch out, that's my foot!"

    "Did you find it?" His voice sounded sleepy.

    "I think, I did," she muttered touching th smooth cold handle and pushed it. Mrs Hysa's car smoothly passed
them inside and they both closed the gate behind it.

Saranda had persuaded Dad to allow them to visit Mrs Hysa in Fremantle on the weekend. They had intended
to go shopping together, but Joyce was sick, so Mrs Hysa let them to go by themselves. Saranda found Kathy and Jack on their usual weekend spot in the park opposite the Esplanade hotel and together they went out to spend Saranda's shopping money.

    "It was the most irresponsible thing to do, leave Mrs Hysa to worry about you and cause her troubles by your late arrival," Dad's sharp voice hammered at them from the lighten verandah.

     "Look, just take it easy for a sec, they are safely back," Mrs Hysa got off her car and patted his arm.

     "It's my responsibility to be sure they don't do it again." Dad's said with a stone face. Mrs Hysa blinked in surprise and looked at them doubtfully.

Saranda blushed fiercely as they followed them acorss the front room full of Muslim men, their neighbours. Dardon stubled as he entered. She took his arm to steady him as they greeted the visitors with little bow and pray: "Salama Lejkum..."

Mum looked up quickly as she entered the room with a pot of tea. Saranda's tongue felt thick and dry in her mouth, as she looked desperately around the room at all the silent and unproachable faces.

    Mrs Hysa waved to them from the corridor to follow Dad into his Study. Saranda hoped she would stay with them, but she disappeared inside the kitchen.

    "You know very well how to behave when you are somewhere on a visit and even more if you are supposed to look after your younger brother." Dad shook his head and turned his back to them. Saranda bit her lips, willing her father to hug and forgive her.

    "Did you buy what you were asked to?" He turned back and looked at her sternly.

    "We have been at 'Quazar' and the Ice-creamery shop, it was so exciting...all these laser machines...boom, boom and we have real big friends..." Dardon tried to explain, but Saranda put her finger on her lips and he suddenly stopped.

     "No, I forgot all about school stuff, I am sorry." She looked at Dad who didn't seem to notice Dardon's talking. He pointed him to leave the room. Dardon bowed his head and quietly closed door behind him.

    "Give me my money back!" Dad opened the palm of his hand in front of her.

    "I don't have it any more. It's entirely your fault. Why can't you, just once, help with shopping, Mum can't speak English and ...it's unfair always ask Mrs Hysa for help," Saranda shouted back noticing too late the anger in his eyes.

He hit her hard with his fist. She stumbled and landed on the sofa.
  
    "Don't talk to me like that ever again!" The tone of his voice told Saranda that was the end of the matter. He left to join his guests.

Disappointment sobbed inside her as she picked up the torn golden chain. It was almost impossible to fix the part with her shaking hands. She hastily put it on and touched the golden sun. If only she could ask Granny. She would know what to do. She always did.

That night Sarnada had a strange dream. She watched herself, Mum and Dad walk along their path to a road. Then they parted and went their separate ways. Dardon sreamed, took Victor into his arm and run from one to the other, then he followed her. She could hear his crying closer and closer so she started to run. FDinally she lost them. She was there all by herself, all on her lonesome. It was a terrible feeling. The world was dark, shadowless and cold.


She turned back and run as fast as she could...back.

UPDATE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE WARS IN THE FORMER YUGOSLAVIA

During the final months of the Bosnian War, nearly 8,000 Muslim men and boys were systematically killed in the fallen U.N enclave of Sebrenica - the worst European massacre since WWII. On June 10, 2010 tow high ranking Bosnian Serbe were convicted for those 1995 killings. Their Judge said: "In the context of human history, these events are arrestive in their scale and brutality. These acts were committed with intent to destroy in whole or in part a national, ethnical, racial and religious group."

Many high ranking officers responsible for massacres in previous Yugoslavia are still in hiding and many will never be caught. Justice will never be served as it always happens. Writing Saranda's story I realized it. She survived and grew up to help her people and her nations.

IGNORANCE IS HUMANITY'S GREATEST ENEMY. Therefore it is important to remember these modern day attrocities which are happening now as well in different parts of our ustable world, we live in.

YOUR CHARACTER IS YOUR FATE. I have an urge to remind people about attrocities so we can together work on more peaceful and stable world.

Thank you for listening to me...next chapter of Saranda's story will continue next week:)

LOST June 2000

     It's still too hot, Saranda thought as she walked next to Mum and Mrs Hysa through the narrow crowded South Terrace and listening to their conversation about Islam. She was mad at Mum, who didn't allow her to leave the house without a scarf and a long sleeve shirt any more. Mum, pushing the pram with Victor, was apprehensive about meeting another Muslim women in a nearby Tea room. She pulled nervously her scarf and asked Saranda to be nice and polite when meeting the ladies.

Saranda looked at her pale face and suddenly felt sorry for her Mum. She was lost just like her. Islam was just a safety net, thrown to her by her husband, something to hold on to. Still boys have it so much easier. Saranda looked behind to see Dardon running and bumping into people.

     " And what about him," she pointed at Dardon: " he wants to go to 'Time Zone."

     " But, please Mum, I want Saranda to go with me, instead of Mrs Hysa," he caught up with Mum and pulled at her sleeve pleadingly.

     " I thought you go with me, Dad would be pleased and Mrs Hysa is not really interested in Islam, you know..."

     " Me neither," Saranda interrupted Mum: " I have already learnt a lot at College and anyway I need to go shopping first...I need some stuff for school tomorow..."

     " Let's go shopping then," Mum turned and pushed the pram back to Wolwoorth store, leaving them catching up.

Inside the Shopping Centre it was cool and noisy. Mum dragged them behind Mrs Hysa caught in a shopping spree. Mrs Hysa loved bargain. As they waited patiently until she chose what she wanted, Saranda noticed some girls in shiny minidresses, who seemed familiar. These awful girls from her previous High School!

    " Quick, have a go, there is the exit," she grabbed Dardon's hand and they ran out into the full car park.

    " Are we going to run away?" Dardon asked excitedly as he noticed the free map of Fremantle in her hand from the shopl

    " Of course not, you silly," she turned her head resolutely, " go back and tell Mum, that we meet her in the Tea room, tell her I know the way and ask for some money to Time Zone, " Saranda watched him to leave and shouted behind him: " She always gives you, what YOU want, you spoiled brat."

She took her scarf and folded up her sleeves. Suddenly she felt much better. Dardon came back and blinked but Saranda stopped him before he could ask: " If you open your mouth, it's last time I take you somewhere, you dobby, dobby," she looked at him and then back at the map: " I can't find the 'Time Zone".

Dardon lowered his head in disappointment.

    " Don't worry, we'll find the way."

It was a hot day. A crowd of strangers walked nearby as they reached another and another street.

    " Saranda, I am thirsty, are we lost?" Dardon sat down on a bench in front of one of the old houses with a broken white picked fence.

    " Stop whinging..." Saranda clutched the map in her hand: " Wait, what's the name of this one, L-i-lly Street."
She looked around. Lilly Street was dotted with old residents of all origins leaning outside their brightly painted houses. Saranda spotted a dirty vacant land between two properties. Another home for Kathy and Jack, she suddenly thought.

    An old lady was watching Dardon from her flowered tiny verandah: " Poor boy, you look thirsty, wait right here," she turned back and murmured something on her way inside. In a little while Dardon held in his hand a cold glass frull of icy water.

    " Thank you," Saranda said joining Dardon on the bench, but the lady shuffled back. The tiny door banged behind her. They left the empty glass on the bench and moved on.

At the far end of the street they were stuck in the middle of traffic noise and rushing people. Among the strangers Saranda recognised a boy.

    " Jaack, Jack...!" Saranda rushed after him leaving Dardon behind.

    " Hey, kid," he was starring at her now and she felt stupid.

    " I don't know, if you remember me, we met about a month ago and you lend me some money..and you said I could stick with you and Kathy..you know...to survive."

    " Survive," Jack repeated in his absent minded voice and his blue eyes looked somehow darker: " In fact you could survive almost anything if you put your mind to it, I've tried to explain this to Kathy...anyway do you know where she is?"

    " No, me and my brother, where is he?" Saranda turned aroudn in panic: " He wanted to go to 'Time Zone' and..." She searched the crowd behind her when Jack suddenly caught her arm.

    " Hey, that's look like him..." he pointed at a scared boy standing on the opposite road to them. He caught their eyes and Saranda waved at him. Jack stared at them when she introduced Dardon. For a long time he was silent as he forgot the world around him.

Saranda took the note from Dardon's pocket and gave him warning look to stop his complaining: " Jack, that's yours, thanks."

    " 'Quazar' is better than 'Time Zone', I haven't been there for ages," he suddenly cheered up: " Let's go, now we have some money to spend."
He left and they had to run to catch up with him.

It was fun. Jack often burst at laugh watching Dardon's play: " He is so scared, I love it!"

    " Dardon, stop acting like idiot," Saranda felt ashamed for her younger brothe, who patted himself proudly on the chest after he hit Jack, but he didn't mind.

They nearly missed Mum and Mrs Hysa, who waited impatiently in front of the already closed 'Tea Room' for their return. Saranda in a hurry put beck her scarf and warned Dardon not to open his mouth. Approaching them, she saw Mrs Hysa's frightened look and she met Mum's tired eyes as she took the screaming hungry Victor from her arms. Saranda knew that Dad would be again mad at her, but it didn't matter at all. She had found Jack!