Bittersweet Life Stories from Australia: MY Perception of people

Monday, September 7, 2009

MY Perception of people

Author: Unknown | Posted at: 5:40 PM | Filed Under: Education

Our children do not need psychological labels and medication, our children need love and trust

I was a child once, a confused and insecured one, diagnosed as depressed and traumatised. People felt sorry for me and i felt worthless. I was naughty child as well, people felt angry with me and I felt unloved.

I was a teenager once, giving my teachers a hard time and arguing with my aging Grandmother, my sole carer and was diagnosed as suffering from something likeappositional defiant disorder. They persuaded me that going to secondary school is a traumatic experience for me. For the emotional upheavals I experienced from falling in love for the first time I was offered councelling and many forms of therapy. People expected me to fail at school, in relationships, at life in general and I felt suicidal.

I was an young adult once, again confused and insecured in my new role as a partner,parent and a teacher. I was diagnosed with something like bipolar disorder. I was advised how to manage mood swings and find balance. People undermined my ability to be stable partner, good parent or professional teacher. I felt disoriented but i wanted to prove them wrong and I SUCCEEDED.

I HAVE NOT BEEN BORN NOR I GREW UP IN AN ANGLO-AMERICAN SOCIETY IN THE PAST 40 YEARS. ALTHOUGH MY MOTHER WITH THE HELP OF MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS / FRIENDS OF MY STEPFATHER/ LIKED TO USE NEW PSYCHOLOGICAL DIAGNOSES FROM OVERSEAS, FORTUNATELLY FOR ME THERE WAS NO AVAILABILITY OF PSYCHOACTIVE MEDICATION. THERE WAS NO SPECIAL NEEDS EDUCATION. AT THE END OF YEAR ONE I WAS THREATEN TO BE MOVED TO MENTAL INSTITUTION AS I REFUSED TO COMMUNICATE AND MY MEMORY WAS LOST AFTER THE SHORT BOUND OF MENGITIS.UNFORTUNATELLY MY GRANDMOTHER'S PAIR OF HOME RAISED FRESHLY KILLED DUCKS, THE PRESENT FOR THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL SAVED ME FROM THAT ORDEAL.When I came to Australia in my thirties I was thrilled that student with various learning and behvioural problems have more choice than a regular school or a mental institution

Working with strudents with learning difficulties for the past ten years I praise Education Support Centres for their crucial role they play in students' further development especially for students with various medical inborn impairments and sometimes medication is necessary. However I know now that they are not there to help children in my situation, who are just confused and powerless to deal with their unsafe home situation.

Diagnoses and medication will not help, they make students only more powerless.

MY GRANDMOTHER SAVED ME OTHER WAY AS WELL. AS A HOUSEWIFE AND KEEN GARDENER SHE SPENT EVERY FREE MINUTE ATTENDING TO HER VEGETABLE PATCH AND LISTENING TO ME. SHE SAID THAT WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD AND SHE IS NOT EDUCATED /FINISHED ONLY PRIMARY SCHOOL/, SHE IS NOT GOING TO GIVE ME ANY ANSWERS, THOSE I HAVE TO FIND FOR MYSELF, BUT SHE LISTENS TO ME. AND SHE DID.

I RECEIVED THE ORDINARY EDUCATION AND WAS TREATED LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AT SCHOOL. EVENTUALLY I MANAGED TO CATCH UP ONCE I REALIZED IT IS ALL UP TO ME.

After reaching maturity I realized that it is not normal to treat the routine troubles of childhood as a mental health issue. My divorced Mother who left me as a three months old in the care of my aging Grandmother felt relieved that I have 'some mental health problems' and she is not responsible for my behaviour. After my Grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease in my teenager's years my Mother / an alcoholic and selfpromoting sex addict/ introduced me to drinking, smoking and partying in her flat she shared with my stepfather. I understand now that I had a normal reaction to adverse and unsafe circumstances in my life at that time was assumed to have mental health problems.

Children possess a formidable capacity for resilience and usually managed to get through difficult childhood given the chance in life someone they can trust and time to find their path.

As a parent of three children in teenager's years and as an expereinced teacher of students with learning and behavioural difficulties I ask myself: 'IS A DIAGNOSIS AND PSYCHOACTIVE MEDICATION FOR DIFFICULT AND MISBEHAVING CHILDREN REALLY WHAT THEY NEED FROM US?'

I strongly believe we can give them much more...we need to connect with them and get their trust so they learnt to trust themselves...

Being connected means feeling safe, having deep trust and knowing you are loved.But what ifyou never have connections with your parents, teachers, kids and people around you...What if you are just learning how to connect, but you do not trust people around you and people do not trust you.How to change your perception of yourself, of people around you, how to change your perception of your surrounding so you can feel safe, trustful and loved again or feel loved for the first time in you life?

ONCE YOU START TO TRUST YOURSELF AND PEOPLE AROUND YOU, ONCE YOU START TO FEEL SAFE AND LOVED IN YOUR SURROUNDING; PEOPLE WILL START TO TRUST YOU AND ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. YOU WILL BE FREE FROM MEDICATIONS AND LABELS. IT IS YOU WHO HAS THE FUTURE IN YOUR HANDS. IT IS TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOUR.